When siblings split the bills

Question: The stock market wiped out my elderly parents’ savings. My two sisters and I now have to help with their bills. How should we divide them, given that some of us have more money and some of us have more kids? Answer: Hold on. Before you divvy the bills, there’s a lot more to [...]

Question: The stock market wiped out my elderly parents’ savings. My two sisters and I now have to help with their bills. How should we divide them, given that some of us have more money and some of us have more kids?

Answer: Hold on. Before you divvy the bills, there’s a lot more to consider than bank accounts and kids. What if, for example, one sister is providing most of your parents’ day-to-day care? Or one of you previously received large gifts of money from your parents? Or the only reason one of you can’t contribute is that she’s a spendthrift? To equitably apportion your folks’ expenses, you need to put everything on the table.

Not a discussion you want to have? We sympathize, but have it anyway. While the three of you needn’t do exactly the same things for your parents, you have an ethical obligation to one another to share fairly — truly fairly — the responsibility for looking after them. That’s unlikely to happen without, as the diplomats say, a full and frank discussion of all the issues — and, we suspect, a little friendly persuasion.

Questions? Email Money Magazine’s ethicists – authors of “Isn’t It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check?” (Free Press) – at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .